Pringle: A Chip

Taken from BestWeekEver–

Pringles. That strangely addictive dried potato pasty substance that manages to embed itself in every nook and cavity your teeth have to offer. That odd snack food that, when arranged properly, can turn any shmo into a hilariously “r”tarded duck face. That delicate treat that, when crushed, sprinkled with water and microwaved, would likely turn into deliciously buttery mashed potatoes. We’ve spent many a day munching away on pringle after pringle, many an evening breaking furniture when we realize that the delicious snack we’ve been looking forward all day ends up being three tennis balls, and many an overnight clutching our sides in agony as we discover that “Olestra” is an ancient greek word meaning “D-Rhea Attack From Hell”. But throughout this long and varied personal history with Pringles, we never once stopped, looked at it, and though: “WTF IS IT?” Well wonder no longer, world. Because English Lord Justice Robin Jacob has ruled: It’s a chip, mothuhf**kuh!

The Lord Justice Hath Ruled: Pringles Are Potato Chips Britain’s Supreme Court of Judicature has answered a question that has long puzzled late-night dorm-room snackers: What, exactly, is a Pringle? With citations ranging from Baroness Hale of Richmond to Oliver Wendell Holmes, Lord Justice Robin Jacob concluded that, legally, it is a potato chip. Procter & Gamble, in what could be considered a plea for strict construction, argued that Pringles — which are about 40 percent potato flour, but also contain corn, rice and wheat — should not be considered potato chips or “similar products.” Rather, they are “savory snacks.” He was even more dismissive of Procter & Gamble’s argument that to be taxable a product must contain enough potato to have the quality of “potatoness.” This “Aristotelian question” of whether a product has the “essence of potato,” he insisted, simply cannot be answered.

So, there you have it America = Pringles is, in fact, a chip. One that you can make “Pringies Soup” out of. Next week? British courts will debate the veracity of the following statement: “Are Doritos Extreme Enough?” We’ll keep you posted.